Day 12 to Day 14 – Where have I been?!

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I realize I’ve missed a couple days, but it’s been kinda busy, so … my apologies. Been jumping through hoops and working on projects and trying to pack a lot into my days, and some of those days I have not gotten time to blog. I’ll try to do better.

GOOD things to report though. Sunday’s workout was pretty good. 31 minutes at 2.5 mph, 1.31 miles, 104 kCal burned. I had the gym pretty much all to myself – a perk of Sunday Workouts – up until the last five minutes, when househusband from the other day came in. Exchange of nods, but eyes on the prize. I think I’m gonna require a full 30 minutes minimum out of my workouts. If I am under 30 minutes, I’m sweaty and tired when I leave. 30+ minutes, I’m sweaty and tired, but I got a little more pep in my step after, which makes me think that 30 minutes is when I hit my stride. So if I can push through til 30, I can push beyond it. SO no less than 30 minutes, barring major owies.

I’ve been making preparations for the last few days (bloodwork, medical clearances, etc.) to schedule a surgery on my wrist. See, several years ago, like…circa 2007 and working at EA, I had a ganglion cyst form in my right wrist. Little bump, kinda hurt. I call it my “Full Sail Sports Injury.” (Joke being that Full Sail doesn’t have sports, and if they did, I likely would not have played them. I’m very funny.) It was agitated by repetitive stress between art, gaming (WoW), and gaming (QA tester at EA). For about a year I had it, til one day I had to turn off a fire alarm and forgot to use my brain. I grabbed my computer chair to stand on, and I fell, of course. I fell on my right hand, and the cyst burst – all internal, nothing gross or icky, ‘cept for the name ganglion. It’s a gross word.

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It was gone for a long time. Then, in 2010, it started to form again. It started small. And it stayed small, because despite my desk job making scrapbook paper, I had recently retired from WoW, and it got a rest. But it was there. Over time though, it started to hurt more and more. My wrist would get so sore I would put it in an immobilizer brace and my hand would lock up entirely. I think the cyst was pinching a nerve or something, but I’m no doctor. One night I couldn’t open my hand from Dinner until I fell asleep…and it released by morning…but at 2 am, it was still locked. Miserable. I knew I needed it taken care of, but I didn’t have insurance, couldn’t afford the surgery, since scrapbook paper design is not the most lucrative position. I just used my brace more, heat pack or ice pack at home – whichever felt best – and taking long PC-free breaks on my personal time to let it rest.

I moved to the card job, and it was more of the same. Clicking was far worse, and I was making vectors, so clicking…holy ow (not meant to be cow), was it painful. I powered through the pain, since there had been talk of insurance coming once the company took off. October 2012, the company sank, and still no insurance. So I played on. It would eventually go away, but it was then I realized it was getting noticeably larger.

It’s hugeness didn’t fully strike me til a few days before my wedding. My mother gave me a bracelet to wear, which I was glad to have, so the bump wouldn’t be in my photos, plus it was a beautiful bracelet, and from my Mama, whom I love dearly. I wore it proudly, and it hid the unsightly thing for the whole of the evening. It was a magical night. I didn’t even feel the pain til the next day from wearing a bracelet over it for all the hugging and posing and lifting my pretty, heavy dress. It was just getting out of control.

But still I did nothing. “It’ll go away, just like last time.” I was kidding myself.

A few weeks later, at the bridal shower for one of my dearest friends, the lovely Sommer (who’s now a full-fledged member of the wedded bliss club), the issue could no longer be ignored. By anyone, apparently. One of the guests, the daughter of another friend of mine, actually poked at it and said “What is that?” She didn’t look disgusted, but genuinely interested, which was unique.

I suddenly felt like the bearded lady. Very sideshow.

This was the final straw. When I looked at my wrist, I felt like I was looking at the spine of my undead rogue sticking through her cape:

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The pain in my wrist was now dull, but constant. It hurt nearly all the time. Anytime I do anything fun (pulling the trigger on a paintball gun, clicking my moves when picking spells to cast in WoW, placing windows in my Sims 3 Mansion, etc.) and that require finer detail or control (handwriting my wedding thank yous – those cards are small – or sketching intricate folds into a commission for my favorite art patrons) – the pain builds and builds til I can’t take it. I can only fill out 2 thank yous at a time. I sent out 90 invitations to my wedding. Do the math, when I want to thank everyone who came as well as those who sent gifts. I almost gave in to logical thought, and asked on FB if peeps would mind a printed version with a handwritten signature. People were understanding, but at the same time – I felt bad and all the love I felt that day from friends and family deserve the proper written treatment. I couldn’t do it. I’d rather be stupid late than cold. Just not me.

So that brings us to now. Now when I am playing phone tag with surgeons, waiting for estimates from surgery centers, and getting medical clearances. My thyroid levels were of specific concern, but they have stabilized, thankfully. I got my clearance this morning, now I gotta wait for Charles to get time off to come with me cause I’m gonna be doped up something fierce while the go in and cut this little bugger so it’s likelihood of return is less than 10%, which would be amazing. Since April’s wedding shower embarrassment, a second cyst sprung up right by the first. Now I look like this:
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Like what I did there? Anatomical references when showing weird body parts – kinda fun to me. Hehe. The second cyst is tiny and not visible in the shadow of is predecessor, but it’s there, and it’s growing, and it suuuuuuuuuucks. HARD.

I should hopefully be getting surgery either this Thursday or the Thursday following. Once I find out Charles’ schedule, I can get the appointment made. Once the surgery is done, I may be brief with posts, but heck, this one’s getting long and I didn’t even cover today’s exercise totals yet! Which were great!

First, a gym jam, cause I love to share music with you guys:
Not like, classic music here, but I love it. Very mellow and driving, nice for the last few minutes of your workout while you push through til you hit your goal time and start your cool down. The vocalizations in the background are mesmerizing. Serena’s kinda…cookie-cutter-young-pop-tartlet, but I enjoy her energy. The video is lovely too.

So after my appointment this morning, I hit the gym. I was feeling extra peppy to start cause the gym was empty save 1 girl lifting weights, and I had just gotten the all clear on my EKG and medical clearance. I was strong like bull.

I watched Weeds again, since it seems to be in a less … naked all the time … part of the show (showtime and HBO love them some bewbies.) and I knew it grabs my attention enough to keep my eyes off the time and all that. I realize it’s gotta be something I haven’t seen before, and it has to be something I’m invested in. The show’s definitely not aging gracefully, but it’s trying to stay alive, and I really wanna see where the characters end up. I went for 2.5 mph today, since my goal was time first, speed second. Once I get to where I can hit my goal at 2.5, I’ll move to 2.7. Then on up.

I walked for 42 minutes, over 7 laps, for 1.77 miles, burning 140 calories. Burn, baby, burn! I felt like the king of the world walking back to my apartment. I got home, and I started getting changed, and I realized something horribly embarrassing, which I’ll share with my blog readers, cause I love you guys and I share my shameface with the ones I love – My grey capris were sweat-soaked, and not in a flattering way. I looked like I had a cat face on my butt. Nose in the middle, with whiskers pointing outward. But you know what…the shame was ok. I still felt amazing, despite the minor embarrassment, because I walked my longest time. When I got off that treadmill, I was pumped. I felt awake and alive and…sweaty, but it was a great feeling.

I’m making an effort to improve myself, and it feels good. Really, really good.

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Met the hubbs and friends for lunch, and now I’m home again, blogging before relaxing and trying to knock out a pending commission for the sweet Lady Annmarie, my favorite “Pizza Bitch” ever. (That’s her superhero name, guys. Super Pizza Bitch. She is super. One of my best clients and favorite people, honestly.) I wanna finish it before the surgery so she can get the framing done. It’s gonna be the first piece I submit as a print on DA, order said print, then immediately take down once the order has shipped. I’ll explain this in November. Dunno how long I’ll be down for once I get the surgery done, maybe just a week, but I gotta get this one out the door.

Hopefully I’ll see y’all tomorrow and post some surgery updates. Wish me luck!

❤ – Panda

((EDIT: animated gifs – SOURCE: buzzfeed.com – I love them, their lists make me giggle))

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