No…I don’t feel gross. Never did.

A friend of mine posted this article about “Thin Privilege”, and I clicked the link, just reading my facebook feed like a dutiful friend/artist exhausted of coloring. It was a surprisingly good read, and it touched a part, deep down inside, that I’ve been ignoring.

I’ve been dealing with a lot of body issues lately. Not like you’d expect. Usually, when a girl loses weight, they’re just so excited to be skinnier and get new clothes and stuff. Which I have been. Excited to be down a jean size. Excited my clothes fit better…I have those feelings, but it’s not the only ones that are there. Becoming the skinnier me…it’s taken some getting used to.

Since I started losing weight, back in April, my eyes have been opened to a world of truths. So many people thought I hated myself and my body, and I didn’t realize how plentiful those people were who thought this. The judgement now, once I started shedding pounds, …they don’t feel like they have to hide it…to hide they were judging me as gross, lazy, slow, unhealthy…and so much more.

When I posted my progress (closing in on 40 pounds less now – Thanks, MyFitnessPal and Charles for keeping me company on my journey), there was a surprising amount of people who came out of the woodwork, assuming I hated how I looked before. I have gotten questions like “Don’t you feel less gross now?” or “I bet you get less tired going up stairs, right?” or “Doesn’t eating healthy just feel better?” or “I thought you were gonna have a heart attack.”

Now I KNOW that several of the people who have said these things are chock-full of love and such, but it hurt. These people I care about, and who care about me, thought I was living in this shameful bubble of self-loathing, but I was never that girl. Underneath all my flubber and jiggly bits, I am relatively healthy. I have a thyroid issue, but I don’t hide behind it, as I know I eat horribly and I don’t exercise. But down 30+ pounds I STILL EAT HORRIBLY…I just eat less…and I still barely exercise.

I was talking to a friend just a day or two ago about fat-shaming and how it affected her life. She’s slimmer than me, even at my current weight, and far more active. She had these friends, an elderly couple from Syria, who she would visit and take shopping and the like. But each time, the woman would look her over and point out stuff like “You look less like a cow today than yesterday”…and she finally had it “up to here” and severed ties. The woman followed her as she left, but my friend was done. Done being judged. Done having her flaws pointed out to her.

It’s not like we don’t know we don’t conform to the standard of beauty, but she’s one of the most beautiful people I’ve had the pleasure of knowing. She’s kind and thoughtful. Her smile and laugh could light up a room, and she has a way of making you feel like you belong. She didn’t deserve the way she was treated.

It’s just…seriously fucked up. But I’m kind of glad it happened this way to me. It really opened my eyes.

The screwiest part of all of this is the fact I kind of miss fatter me. I’ve been big for a long time. I haven’t been not considered a ‘plus size’ since the sixth grade. I’ve always been comfortable with me, just as I am and as I was, haters be damned. But I knew that girl, for all the ‘flaws’. I know what stresses and life choices made me go from a bean pole to a curvy girl. But as I saw it, she was me. I lived my life to be happy, and this was the result, and I was and AM comfortable with that.

I started losing weight so I can improve my chances to have kids and those kids will have better health as a result of me taking better care of myself while they’re along for the ride. Not because I hated myself. Not for any of the reasons people assumed. Why no one assumed I would do something for someone other than myself is beyond me, but I guess we’re all conditioned to believe that we all hate ourselves and want desperately to be have that supermodel body.

I don’t plan on quitting the weight loss journey. I will get used to the new me. I will get to know this girl as I knew the one who was there in April. But know I love myself. I’m healthy. I’m motivated. I have goals. I don’t think I’m gross. I think I am fabulous. I am actually sort of vain. I check myself out in the mirror and say “how you doin?” channeling my best Matt Leblanc.

I think I shall end this rant here. I have vented sufficiently.

You can’t kill me…you can only make me stronger…unless you offer me cupcakes…full of poison. Then you’ll get me. I cannot resist cupcakes. Less I’m out of calories for the day.

-J.S.

 

 

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Knightrokon Coming Soon!

Knightrokon BannerI am excited to announce that I will be in the Artist Alley at Knightrokon at the UCF Student Union on June 7-8, 2014! You can find me at table #26!

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At the event, I will be selling prints from 5×7, 8×10, and 11×14 sizes. I will also be giving away a special surprise to my facebook followers (Are you a fan? Click here to like my page!) on the day of the event.

Lastly, I will be raffling off a limited edition print, only 1 of its kind, specifically designed for the event as an 11×17 poster! I’ll be showing a sneak peek of the design here in a few days, so stay tuned.

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Knightrokon admission is free to current UCF students, so if you’re going to UCF, feel FREE to drop on by and visit the table.

Day 11 – Bee Bee

Bee Bee Blankets ETC is live. A project I’ve been working on for a while, and it’s finally online. Come check us out!

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http://www.etsy.com/shop/BeeBeeBlanketsETC
https://www.facebook.com/BeeBeeBlanketsETC

The site went up on the 9th and now we got three listings in as many days. We got at least 7 more products ready to list that just need photographs taken.

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We’re hoping to offer more crocheted products as well and scrapbooking materials, pillows, and more. What kind of things do you buy from Etsy? What kind of items would you like to see in our shop?

 

On a related matter, I have only 1 slot left open for commissions. If you’re interested, comment on this post and I’ll get you my pricing.

 

More stories in the next post. I figured I could make one shameless plug without too much fuss. 😛

 

WTF: Bullies Against Bullying

My mind is blown every time I see a bully or mean girl from my time in school post some anti-bullying stuff on Facebook.

One posts how she can’t believe her daughter would bully someone.  Another posted this story about two boys, a nerd and a jock, who became friends on the day the nerd haf intended to kill himself, and how we should all be nicer to the people around us.

I know many of them are remorseful, and several probably don’t realize or remember the havoc they brought on to people,  but the peeps on the receiving end didn’t forget.

I am anti-bullying. I was bullied hard as a child. And as a teenager. Probably still as an adult but now I don’t know or care what they say.

I remember,  in fifth grade,  and group of girls teamed up on me and tied  me up with jump rope.  The troop then proceeded to drag me around the playground, arms and legs dragging across the blacktop.

I remember how they would point and laugh at me fot my hair, my hand me down off brand clothes, or whatever excuse they made up to tease me for that day.

I remember when one of the mean girls complimented a shirt I wore,  and chatted me up like she was a nice person. She asked to borrow the top,  and I agreed. I went home and got it all washed up, and brought it into school for her. She and her friends surrounded me, and laughed and mocked me. She shouted “why would I EVER want to wear something of YOURS!” And they all proceeded to say how I was lice and flea infested and dirty.  “How stupid are you?”

In high school,  I had a girl threaten me with violence. She kept at it, saying how she would bring het friends along and they’d all kick my ass. One day she said “today.  After school.  In the parking lot.  We’re gonna kick your ass.”

I was tired of it, so I looked up from the basket I was weaving in art class and said “see you there.” I think she was surprised that I showed. And I was surprised by her lack of lackies.  But she was hell bent on fighting me for some reason I couldn’t fathom, so I gave her what she wanted. She fled with tail between her legs, shouting something about being on probation.

I was something of a scrapper coming up. I got into 3 fights at school:

First grade, with Kenny P*****. He looked like this was probably his third time bring in first grade. Big guy. Tall and lanky but he wasn’t wimpy lookin. I came in for the first day of class and Kenny got up in my face at the coat rack.

“That’s my hook!” He shouted. He was so tall I had to look up at him. “Move your stuff now!”

“I don’t see your name on it.” I replied coolly. “Just find another hook. My stuff is already here.”

“Move it now!” He screamed,  then he shoved me hard.  “Move it!”

I moved it. I moved my fist into his neck just as the teacher came in. I had two brothers,  and three sisters. No kid’s gonna try to force his will on me like that. I never started a fight. I just finished them.  Off we went to the principal. Kenny left me alone after that, and I used a different hook so he wouldn’t end up so upset again. It didn’t matter which hook I had.

Next – fifth grade.  This boy, Josh McL*******, had been bullying my little brother. Josh was in third, and Tyg in kindergarten. Again I say “kindergarten! ” Josh had his friends hold my bro down and they’d kick him,  usually focusing on *sensitive areas*. I came onto the bus, and Josh was leaning over the seat back in front of my lil brother,  and Tyg sat there, wiping tears ftom his eyes as Josh threatened and harassed him. I hurried over and hot in the seat next to Tyg.

“Leave him alone. Don’t you lat a hand on my brother or even think about picking on him again, or you’ll deal with me.”

Josh laughed,  “I’m not scared of you…” then he swung out, snatching my glasses from my face and throwing them to the front of the bus. He and his friends laughed.

I made use of my patented move and fist met throat again. Josh sunk in his seat.

“I mean it,  Josh…never again. You stay away from him.” The driver stepped back on the bus just as out exchange came to an end.

“Alright WWF, off the bus and to the principal.”

He left Tyg alone.

Last was the altercation in tenth vs. Probation girl, Angie O*****. I still have no idea what her issue with me was to this day. This one was more of a knockdown, drag out fight…except it was between a cat and mouse. She would land blows that didn’t hurt.  She started the fight, again witg my glasses,  so it was more of blind fight for me, but as I said, many siblings who were bigger and stronger.

I wonder if she really was on probation when she ran.

Hindsight says I could’ve handled these things differently. And it’s true.  And to Kenny,  Josh,  and Angie, I’m sorry for laying the smack down upon you, but your behavior and harassment left the younger me with no option that I could see then. I hope you’ve all grown bryond the pettiness and the hurtful things you did when you were younger.

I hope that for all these bullies. But don’t front like you’re a shining beacon of anti-bullying. It’s like trying to save face.  It’s bs and I’m not buying what you’re selling.   Maybe if ya got the stones to apologize to the people you hurt instead of hiding behind your societally pressured shame? Otherwise it just seems like an act.

I do hope your kids don’t treat people cruelly. I even understand putting on this show for their sake, but I intend to be upfront about my life to my kids. I hope the punishment I endured teaches them to be kind to others and to not deal with anyone who mistreats you. I hope the mistakes I’ve made teaches them to look for other options and to think before they act or speak. But I plan to be honest.

My second year at my new school (8th), I saw a few girls who always were sitting alone at lunch.  They sat alone but never sat with each other. I sat with my girls and there were six of us.

One day, probation girl and her pack circled around one of the girls. They called her names, told her she smelled and such. The girl looked to be on the verge of tears.

I pivoted from my normal lunch path and set down next to her. I told the girls to go away.  Surprisingly, they did (maybe this is why she got so mad she wanted to fight me. IDK) and each day I sat with Lori. I waved my friends over, and invited the other girl who sat alone all the time (who also got picked on a lot) yo join us too.

So then our six was eight. And it stayed eight for years to come. During lunch we were all together and safe. I loved my friends. I still hold these girls dear to my heart,  despite time, distance, and history has broken the airtight bonds we once had. I don’t know how I couldve survived without them. Megan, Wendy, Lori, Rashelle, Kristy,  Kristin,  Rana…I love you guys. Thank you for being there for me.

And to the bonus friends, those who joined us from time to  time – the Taylor Twins, my cousin Amanda (I miss you so much, every day. I’m tearing up now just thinking about you.), and the others. ..we had some good times. I miss you ladies too. I even miss Chris (despite our friendship getting a little rocky when you dated Kristy in high school buy I knew you just weren’t that into her and I didn’t want you to hurt her. Glad that you’re happy with Steven the lawyer. ;p).

Case in point – grown-up bullies need to own up and stop ignoring their behavior and use that as the lesson to their kids, not to do this “holier than thou” act condemning people for doing what you have done yourself so often. It’s hypocritical.

Put positivity and kindness out and one day it will return to you.

I forgive you, bullies and mean girls. I wish you happiness in your lives. I know I found happiness in mine.  And you all helped me become stronger and more confident as an adult.  So in the end,  I guess I should thank you…but an apology would go a long way.

Rant over.

VOTE: Music Time – HOLD THAT NOTE! We’re extending the vote!

After the poor vote outcome, I am going to extend the music type vote for our travelling bard crowd-created art project. I will be still counting the existing votes from ‘Hempy’ and Julio from FBbut right now I got two votes for song style/type and it’s a lock.

Please share a song type. This vote is entirely write in. This bard is a story we’re writing together, and I want to hear what the mood of her music is. This will determine her expression as well as crowd reaction.

Hempy’s Suggestion: Very traditional story-telling. Upbeat and triumphant.

Julio’s Suggestion: Instrumental and calming with a little beat behind it.

I’m gonna keep the vote open til Thursday Morning. After we decide this, we get into how the bard looks with art choices and all, so keep em coming.

The Nightmare

These last few days have been filled with terrifying nightmares.  I understand it’s likely a side effect of my pain meds. They wake me up and leave me a mess.

Tonight’s was vivid and scary like mad.  Very apocalypse-y, lots of fire and brimstone. But it wasn’t as bad…

1. For some reason,  all the people I love most in the world: family, friends, coworkers, and classmates were all together.

2. I had great commanders to help lead peeps to safety. Mama, Joni, Chuck,  Hawkeye from The Avengers (I know he’s a superhero but, in the dream, he was totally my homeboy), Hempy, and Rubber Stucchi.

3. There was totally lots of cars which could transport the sick and the handicapped. And free wifi for planning purposes.

4. Everyone was calm, orderly, and everything went suprisingly smooth as we went to the nearest shelter.

Once we got to the shelter in Kissimmee, we were safe. I aat snuggled with my hubbs and our parents and siblings and all the rest, and we watched Orlando get swallowed whole on the news.

When I realized what happened TRULY was when I woke up – Orlando was sitting on a Hellmouth a la the mythical Sunnydale, CA. With all the sinkholes and the house of mouse. ..makes a crazy kind of sense.  Guess it’s the universe telling me I should move away from the attractions.

But tonight’s bad dream was not so bad. I got to see people I miss dreadfully and friends I love but barely ever if not never get to see face to face.

I just think now’s a good time to send send love to all my peeps and say how I miss everyone and I wish, if the world were about to get sucked into oblivion, I’d want to be with you guys, and inexplicably, Hawkeye. He can see really good and has strategies and junk. He’d be handy in the apocalypse.

Sorry about no day number in the title. It’s 6am … I’m half asleep and I didn’t take the time to look it up and do the math. :s

I may write about the others sometime to get them out of my head, but they were too real for me to process without getting emotional,  so I’ll save it for another time.

Going back to sleep now.

Day 22 + 23 – Surgery and Therapy

Yesterday was short. Collected commission payment, talked to my family, texted, and slept early. Had to rest up, because at 5:30 AM, it was surgery time.

I had a dream I was waking up. Each time I woke in the dream, it replayed, but in a slightly different fashion. Upon the end of the third repetition, I crawled out of bed. 4:30 AM. I figure my brain didn’t want me to be late. Got cleaned up, got dressed, got Charles up and ready, then we headed to the surgery center.

This was the first surgery I ever had. EVER. I have never been under anesthesia before. I was hungry and sleepy. People seem so confused when I ask how much procedures cost. We have an HSA with a high deductible, and I don’t want surprise bills. Scarily enough, the anesthesia peeps bill separately, and they didn’t know how much it was. Hopefully the bill isn’t too heavy, or I’ll need to sell many minis or commissions FAST. (Watch the blog here in case of fire sale.)

They got me back there, and I got to don the ever fashionable hospital gown + socks and skivvies. They did an injection to numb my left hand, then did the IV. I didn’t have any water, so I guess the numbing was to hide them digging for a vein. :s Once they got me set up, they let me see Charles before they put me under. I wasn’t fully under. The ‘twilight’-y feeling one. (No, I didn’t see sparkly vampires…woulda had to stake em.) I didn’t feel a thing, and shortly after they put in the meds I don’t remember much. Apparently a male nurse played the flirty humor in front of Charles, who was not amused. He then returned to the lobby. I don’t remember this.

I woke up to see my fella. I have this HUGE splint and ace bandage combo rockin on my right arm. I was slurring my speech apparently. (Charles described my slur as ‘faking drunk girl’ level. Abbe Abbe was dreadfully amused when I called to tell her I lived through the surgery,) They told me no lifting, no water (clean and dry, cover up with trash bag for shower or in case of rain), and to TYPE. Typing is good…they said they want me to wiggle my fingers often. SO I type. Yay blog

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What does this mean? Lots of typing in the next week, and it seems unlikely that I will go to the gym, since I get soaked to the bone every time I go. I like typing. When I stop typing, it starts aching. I got meds for it, but I want to use them sparingly. The liver issues I had WERE NOT fatty liver, and so I need to be aware of how much painkiller I take since it can reek havoc over your liver. Mine was from 3 months of migraines while I did QA and constantly medicating. I stopped, it normalized. Don’t wanna risk my liver. I can handle some pain, plus typing painkiller is more fun.

I am solo tomorrow so please…comment with questions, or silly things or whatever (not spam, all you random spam creepers. -.-‘) so i Have many minutes of therapy to work on. Otherwise, I’ll be working on last year’s NaNoWriMo project I never finished. 😛

Day 20 – Photoshop Brushes + Miniature Painting

Good morning, everyone! ❤ Happy Monday, one and all!

Today’s post is gonna be a little different. Gonna share some freebies with you guys (for my photoshop peeps), as well as begin a little project I have wanted to get started.

First, I wanna share with you guys some photos of the first Bombshell Miniatures Babe up for grabs.
PussyPatrol-Mini1Awesome Space Chick with Pigtails! I’m looking for a buyer for her before I start the painting so they can choose all the colors and stuff. I’ll also be taking lots of pics as I work on it so you guys can watch her go from grey to great. I’m asking $30 for this figure (handpainted by me, per buyer’s color selections) or $35 if ya want her painted and put in a nice acrylic box before she gets rocketed to your door, future buyer! 🙂 Shipping cost will vary based on selected option, but it will be an additional charge.

I will be doing more of these as I finish each, so if this one’s not your cup of tea, there will be more. I hope to have one more on a fantasy tangent and less sci-fi coming up next. Good for the Warhammer crowd, for sure, as a specialty unit.

Here’s some samples of some painted ones I did. These are kinda old, so take these, and add more…better-ness to them!

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And now, for the freebies! Photoshop brushes I made from some of my artwork. I originally made these for creating the graphics on my Twitter profile, and I thought, “Why let these rot away in my files forever? I MUST SHARE THESE!” So I did. I posted them up for easy download in my Deviantart gallery. Click the image of the brush you want to visit their download page on Deviantart! Just look for the button that says “DOWNLOAD” ❤ ABR Files.
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Alrighty, got some artwork to do for the lovely Annmarie of Pizza Xtreme (Best Pizza in Orlando, and I don’t just say that cause my art is all over their walls!). I will update this post soon as we have a buyer. ❤

Day 16 + 17 – Fall Down Go Boom

Day 16 was looking to be a bust. I was under the weather, so the gym didn’t happen. Got postponed to day 17. I slept a chunk of my day away trying to get on the mend. I did salvage the day, however, compliments of my baby brother, Jenson. He had asked me to enter a contest…originally as him, because he really wanted the prize, but ‘can’t draw’. I wasn’t really okay with being a ghost artist, so I told him I would enter as myself, and if I won, he could have the statue offered as the prize. (Contest link) Top prize is a Diablo III statue from Sideshow. It’s a little dark and doom-y for my taste, but the idea of having my art shown on IGN was a good opportunity, and it makes my lil’ bro happy, so win/win.

He requested a witch doctor, but I’m not super familiar with the game, so I asked him – since I was doing this for him – to gather up references for me, and email them to me. He said yes, but he never sent them. I realized yesterday was the final day to submit, so I checked my email – NOTHING. I gathered up my own references and did my best to familiarize myself with the material. I ended up doing a blended character design – part of the design was modeled directly from the in-game assets, and some from my own research, lying heavily in African and Native American tribal fashion and real-world wild life. The picture was a success, but I didn’t get to finish it in the way I had envisioned in the time I had left.

Here’s my final submission piece, handed in last night, just before the deadline:
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I think she turned out pretty well. I added a couple little pops of color in there, in her eyes and the smear of blood running down her cheek. I see things I would change now, but time was a factor, and I think it went well.

SO with that, Day 16 was in the book. Day 17 was a doozy so far, though.

When I woke, I still felt offish from yesterday, but I thought, “NO EXCUSES” and I put myself together for exercising. I decided to try the ninja shirt again. I took Charles to work, then went to the gym.

BOTH treadmills were in use by two ladies. The one on my normal treadmill looked a lot like Michelle Rodriguez. Both ladies looked pretty entrenched, so I decided to try the other machines. The elliptical was first. I circled it like a vulture would a carcass, but I was trying to figure out how to get on the darn thing, not to pick meat from its’ bones. Michelle’s doppelganger (I know I’m missing special characters, but whatever), who I’ve nicknamed “B*tchface”, glared at me like  I was some kind of idiot for not knowing how to get on the thing, and that I was really disrupting her exercise. I tried to ignore her as I finally got on the machine.

I got it moving, and was feeling super proud of myself when it happened – 2 minutes of “YEAH!” became a resounding “NO! NO! YOU GO AWAY NOW!” from my legs. They didn’t wanna get their gazelle-like stride on ANY more. I wobbled off of the machine, my chest aching cause I probably should have stayed at home in bed. But I needed to exercise, and the treadmills were still occupied by B*tchface and girl 2, so I moved to the bike.

For those who know exercise bikes (or read my previous blog about my experience), you gotta pedal to turn it on. So I did. I started to set the program, and it asked for my weight, and the first number was 175. I do not weigh 175, and so I pressed the UP arrow. It couldn’t be held. For each pound, you must press the button again, all while pedaling. No stats were tracking until the setup was complete. I pressed and pressed, and it beeped and beeped.

B*tchface glared at me as I struggled with my awesome lack of coordination, trying to pedal while beeping forever. She pushed her earbuds in, and turned up the volume on her iphone before turning her scowling, grumpy b*tchface away from me. But then it happened…I stopped pedaling just before I got to the weight, and the lights went out. I pedaled again, and repeated the beeping. B*tchface was now rolling her eyes and adjusting her headphones more.

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I finally got my weight in, and began pedaling, and it happened again…

“No! No! You go away NOW!”

I sighed and got off the bike, chest still tight, and wiped down the machine. B*tchface rolled her eyes again, and sauntered herself right out of the gym, not wiping her machine down or anything. Some people’s lives are just more important, so I shouldn’t have annoyed her with my existence.

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But eff that lady – MY MACHINE WAS OPEN! I wiped it down for her, cause I’m nice, even to B*tchface, and hopped on…or more of an awkward meandering on. I set up my netflix with the show recommended for me – Breaking Bad – and began walking. The pilot started out MEGA DEPRESSING – so I dunno if I’ll be able to use it to exercise until I watch the pilot + other eps and get beyond the “OMG this is sad” to the “OMG WHAT HAPPENS TO THEM NOW!”. My chest tightened again and I felt lightheaded, so I hit cooldown after only 15 minutes on the treadmill. I had a good sweat going, plus my trials with the other machines were exercise too, and I didn’t feel super good. I wiped the machine down, and walked out of the gym.

The steps were hard to navigate, and it was so hot outside. The pool looked refreshing, but I didn’t have my suit on, so I thought I’d maybe do that later if I felt up to it. I walked around the bend, past the tennis courts, through the parking lot. The nemesis, Mr. Stairwell, was in sight, I walked down the sidewalk and took a left for the stairs, eye on the prize, but suddenly I kept going to the right, then nothing, then I found myself on the ground. I actually fainted briefly while taking the corner toward my apartment. I was quickly revived once I hit the grass, and I hadn’t been so happy that the neighbors picked up their dog’s droppings as I was that moment. Would have made the fall a bit more unpleasant. I didn’t have any scrapes or soreness. I pulled myself to my feet, wobbled up the stairs, and put myself to bed for a little bit.

Met the fella for lunch at Hot Krust Panini Kitchen (Turkey Lake/Sand Lake intersection – by Whole Foods. GO RIGHT NOW if you haven’t been there. One of my faves.) and now I’m at home, resting and writing this blog.

Lessons I learned today: Sick + Exercise = fall in potentially dog-doo laden grass (I got soooo lucky). Also, the ninja shirt is bad for workin out. My two worst performing exercise days were while wearing it. I don’t think I’ll wear it to work out any more. I am NOT a ninja. (I always saw myself as more of a pirate, anyway. You can’t be both.)

Day 15 – Honeymoon Jelly

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What is Honeymoon Jelly, you might ask?

I was on the phone with Mama, and I said “Just making a sandwich with honeymoon jelly.”

There was almost an audible awkwardness when her side of the call went silent. I could practically hear her brain wrapping around the term I had just used, wondering what I meant.

We went to the Keys on our honeymoon, and we stopped at this awesome fruit stand in Florida City called Robert is Here. (That’s actually the name of the place. The owner is Robert, and he was there.) Amazing fruits of all kinds, local honey, and the most dynamite smoothies I ever had. While we were at his store, we bought Ginger Honey, Honeycomb, Tupelo Honey, some sapodilla, pineapple, mangoes, and a jar of strawberry preserves. The jar of preserves was the “Honeymoon Jelly” and is some of the best strawberry preserves I’ve ever had.

Once I relayed the tale of the preserves, she resumed normal conversations. Makes me wonder what she thought I meant…

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My today was super mellow. My surgery postponed til next Thursday morning, at the butt crack of dawn. I need to be at the surgery center at 5:30 AM, then surgery begins at 6:30 AM. I tried to get later, but they just fill the slots from earliest to latest. You don’t really get to choose. The postponing of the surgery worked out for the best though, cause today was a bad art day, or a bad thinking day for that matter. My sentences were …odd all day, and every time I tried to draw something, it was nothing like what was in my mind, and I’d end up erasing it all.  Bad art days happen, but man, if that surgery were tomorrow…I woulda been in the weeds, for sure.

Ate lunch with the fella, then relaxed at home. Had a big thunderstorm. One lightning strike was super close to my apartment, and I actually felt my hair on my arm stand on end. Freaky stuff!

Got the gym tomorrow, then hopefully some art will happen. Wish me luck! I’ll leave you with a fun Sims Supernatural Screenshot of my nobleman being playfully pestered by my red fairy.
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